The paranoia continues.
Streisand Goes to the Dogs
Barbra is now convinced that there's an assassination plot lurking somewhere out there -- probably in the Red States -- with her name on it.
The Star of the Decade is requiring K-9 explosive sweeps at all the venues for her 16-city U.S. tour. So what monster could be responsible for this malicious conspiracy against the genius behind such masterworks as Yentl, The Prince of Tides and four-inch acrylic nails?
My money's on George W. Bush.
I figure he got wind of her latest stunt -- using a Dubya-impersonator during her concerts -- and just can't take a joke. Here's how it went down, based on an actual transcript smuggled out of the Oval Office:
RESUME TRANSCRIPT
BUSH: Damn it, Dick! This North Korea nuke [expletive deleted] can wait. That major league a-hole, Streisand, is still making fun of me at her concerts. The heckler we sent to New York has only increased her resolve. We've gotta do somethin' . . .
CHENEY: But, Mr. President! You've always had a good sense of humor when people make fun of you. Think of the White House Correspondents' Dinner --
SATAN: (performed by Karl Rove) Excuse me for interrupting, Dead-Eye Dick, but I have an idea.
BUSH: Let 'er fly, Karl.
SATAN: Well, Sir, we've been trying to maximize the efficacy of the CIA in neutralizing potential terrorists, but without any live drills with which to train our people . . . Well, you get my drift.
BUSH: (to secretary) Get me Mike Hayden on the phone, pronto! (turning to Satan) Hey, Karl. Do ya think the Farm Boys'd wanna take a crack at that Able Danger bastard while they're at it?
END TRANSCRIPT
Personally, I think Babs should watch her six. Unless she wants her next concert to debut via videotape on Al Jazeera. Oh, she's Jewish, huh? Okay, maybe not.
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind that I will never die." ~ Bill Watterson
Thursday, October 12, 2006
BS and the F-Bomb
The plot thickens.
Two days after Barbra Streisand displayed the richness of her vocabulary on an unwelcome heckler at her October 9th concert, her publicist is claiming that the verbal attack was orchestrated by the Bush administration.
Streisand Heckler a Right-Wing Plant?
Ken Sunshine, publicist for BS, told PageSix.com he suspects the heckler was a Bush . . .er, plant. "There's something a little weird about it," says Sunshine.
I'll say.
New York's Madison Square Garden holds what, about 20,000 fans for concerts? (And we can conclude with absolute certainty that the concert was completely sold out. No need to even look it up.)
So among 20,000 fans there were some -- gasp! -- conservatives there? Then they must be presidential plants! How else can you explain the unsolicited appearance of right-wing, baby-killing, neo-fascist thugs at a concert given by The Star of the Decade -- unless they were compelled to attend by their slavish loyalty to the Master Strategerist himself?
I dunno. Maybe they like music?
But when a Bush impersonator took the stage to portray the President as Idiot-In-Chief, some in BS's audience didn't take it well.
Answering cries of "What is this, a fundraiser?" and "Stick to singing," Streisand replied: "Come on, be polite."
But when one heckler refused to let up, BS responded with a courteous: "Shut the f--- up! Shut up, if you can't take a joke!" She then encouraged the heckler to leave and get his money back.
The heckler left the concert. (It is unknown at this time whether or not he requested a refund.)
Two days later, the only excuse Ms. Streisand's publicist can come up with for her outburst is to accuse the [Evil] Leader of the Free World with plotting to undermine the very fabric of our society . . . by sending his minions to disrupt her show.
He's crafty, that Dubya. Very crafty.
The fact that BS concert-goers paid between $104 and $754 per ticket to attend should serve as ample evidence that her audience has a profound sense of humor. But it still leaves BS's own jocularity in question.
Streisand herself commented later, "the artist's role is to disturb."
Mission accomplished, Babs. Now shut the f--- up.
Two days after Barbra Streisand displayed the richness of her vocabulary on an unwelcome heckler at her October 9th concert, her publicist is claiming that the verbal attack was orchestrated by the Bush administration.
Streisand Heckler a Right-Wing Plant?
Ken Sunshine, publicist for BS, told PageSix.com he suspects the heckler was a Bush . . .er, plant. "There's something a little weird about it," says Sunshine.
I'll say.
New York's Madison Square Garden holds what, about 20,000 fans for concerts? (And we can conclude with absolute certainty that the concert was completely sold out. No need to even look it up.)
So among 20,000 fans there were some -- gasp! -- conservatives there? Then they must be presidential plants! How else can you explain the unsolicited appearance of right-wing, baby-killing, neo-fascist thugs at a concert given by The Star of the Decade -- unless they were compelled to attend by their slavish loyalty to the Master Strategerist himself?
I dunno. Maybe they like music?
But when a Bush impersonator took the stage to portray the President as Idiot-In-Chief, some in BS's audience didn't take it well.
Answering cries of "What is this, a fundraiser?" and "Stick to singing," Streisand replied: "Come on, be polite."
But when one heckler refused to let up, BS responded with a courteous: "Shut the f--- up! Shut up, if you can't take a joke!" She then encouraged the heckler to leave and get his money back.
The heckler left the concert. (It is unknown at this time whether or not he requested a refund.)
Two days later, the only excuse Ms. Streisand's publicist can come up with for her outburst is to accuse the [Evil] Leader of the Free World with plotting to undermine the very fabric of our society . . . by sending his minions to disrupt her show.
He's crafty, that Dubya. Very crafty.
The fact that BS concert-goers paid between $104 and $754 per ticket to attend should serve as ample evidence that her audience has a profound sense of humor. But it still leaves BS's own jocularity in question.
Streisand herself commented later, "the artist's role is to disturb."
Mission accomplished, Babs. Now shut the f--- up.
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Latest Pet Peeve
Does it bother anyone else that so many churches have these moveable-letter signs used to leave "cute" messages to people who drive by?
Maybe I'm the only one, but it bugs. Big time.
I finally hit the wall on this issue the other day. I was driving past a church building (some "World Outreach" someplace-or-other, but church names are a sore spot I'll leave for another time . . .) and saw the following message, displayed for the benefit of the spiritually-bereft:
FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN
DETAILS INSIDE
Does this irk anyone else???
Hello, relationship! How many men propose marriage to their beloveds with the winning plea of: "Recieve a free honeymoon if you ACT NOW!"
Let's not even mention the demeaning insinuation that Christianity distills down to nothing more than the avoidance of eternal damnation. Does this church really believe they'll win souls this way?
(In case you're wondering, I didn't notice any skidmarks on the road.)
As I was searching the net, I noticed I'm not the only person offronted by this kind of "sign evangelism." Here's a column about it, posted on the American Vision website. (Not sure who they are, but the column is good.)
Drive-by Ministry
Maybe I'm the only one, but it bugs. Big time.
I finally hit the wall on this issue the other day. I was driving past a church building (some "World Outreach" someplace-or-other, but church names are a sore spot I'll leave for another time . . .) and saw the following message, displayed for the benefit of the spiritually-bereft:
FREE TRIP TO HEAVEN
DETAILS INSIDE
Does this irk anyone else???
Hello, relationship! How many men propose marriage to their beloveds with the winning plea of: "Recieve a free honeymoon if you ACT NOW!"
Let's not even mention the demeaning insinuation that Christianity distills down to nothing more than the avoidance of eternal damnation. Does this church really believe they'll win souls this way?
(In case you're wondering, I didn't notice any skidmarks on the road.)
As I was searching the net, I noticed I'm not the only person offronted by this kind of "sign evangelism." Here's a column about it, posted on the American Vision website. (Not sure who they are, but the column is good.)
Drive-by Ministry