Sing it with me, Ala Burt Parks.
I suppose the lyrics are off a bit, but my take on the Miss America anthem is more representative of reality.
I'm sure you've heard the story: reigning Miss America Lauren Nelson recently linked arms with TV show America's Most Wanted and law enforcement officials in Long Island, New York, to conduct an Internet sting operation.
In the course of the operation, Miss America posed as an underage girl during online chats and phone conversations with potential predators. Nelson -- whose personal platform during the Miss America competition was "Be NetSmart: Protecting Kids Online" -- helped police nab eleven men now accused of soliciting sex with minors.
Bravo. Well done. Kudos to all who are helping keep kids safe!
And then the TV cameras turn off.
On second thought ...
Prosecutors Fear Miss America Won't Testify in Sex-Sting Case
Seems the lovely and gracious role model for American youth has declined to participate in the prosecution of the suspects, leaving the viability of the charges and potential convictions in jeopardy.
Yes, it's true. Eleven potential predators caught in the act of soliciting illegal sexual relations with underage children may go free because the woman most directly involved in their apprehension decides putting these pervs behind bars is not worth her time.
What I can't figure out is: "Why not?"
Was it not in her contract?
Will her silken tresses and glowing complexion wash out under the dismal fluorescent lights of a courtroom?
I realize that the likelihood of receiving a coronet of rhinestones and a satin sash emblazoned with "Miss Star Witness" from the presiding judge is slim to none. Even so, can't she spare a few days out of her busy parade-marshaling schedule to actually finish the job?
Apparently, Miss America has bought into the excuse that celebrities (even those with a one-year career limit) are always up for good works ... as long as there is publicity to be had in the offing. But when the reporters disappear, the celebs are sure to follow suit.
God forbid good things might be done anonymously. Then we'd have no one to accept the Humanitarian Award at the red-carpeted, black-tie awards banquet.
Meanwhile, eleven men who think having sex with kiddies is a great way to spend the weekend will probably get a pass, free to offend again when the Long Island police aren't watching.
At least these pervs can say: "Thank you, Miss America, for teaching US to be NetSmart! Maybe next time we'll get away with it ... "
I feel better already.
"God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now, I'm so far behind that I will never die." ~ Bill Watterson
